I did what I had to do for me.
If that includes cutting toxic people off then so be it
I won’t tolerate disrespect, neglect or abandonment.
Im hurt my own father forgot my birthday. How is that even possible?
I’ve given him chance after chance to get it together, but unfortunately it doesn’t seem possible for him.
I’m tired of fighting for something that isn’t even worth the fight.
Why do I have to fight with you for you to be a father?
I’m done hurting.
I’m done allowing you to hurt me.
I cannot afford to give energy to dead situations.
Youre as dead to me as the inside of yourself and your consciousness.
You’re no longer existent in my life.
You couldn’t choose what you wanted to do,
So I made the decision for youm
I’m letting you go forever.
Don’t bother to look back or try..
It’s hopeless as your empty promises.
I just wish I didn’t know who my father is
So it would’ve been easy to accept the reality
That you freely choose to be an unavailable dad,
More like donator of lies, sperm, & disappointment
That’s all I know when it comes to you.
Now I have the power to control who will be in my life and who won’t
And if you’re wondering if you’d be invited to my wedding
Cus’ the last time I went back on my word and invited you to something
YOU didn’t even show.
Left me at graduation on stage with a rage
At myself for being lured into your disappointment cage.
No more I’m done.
I don’t know who will bury you cus I’m definitely not the one…
Your electrifying erection carries convulsions of pleasure to my soul,
My toes curl so hard I’m Surely, convinced that my body is your temple,
Tapping my ass like Bojangles, no billy, jeans you are in them bursting me at my seams from in between
This is quite the love scene.
Your love jones digging the marrow out my bones, as I’m sitting on your dick like its my throne, ancient love like an Egyptian Queen and a Pharaoh, own it, your majesty, my pussy is your dynasty. Die-Nasty as i suck your dick while you drive, no jive hopefully we survive, you & me we thrive in our sex drive, splash, squirt, & swallow, deep pussy, never shallow, fuck me so good i don’t have cum for tomorrow.
My king do come, we come together; evolution, he go to war with the pussy like its a revolution, we celebrate in extacy, generations we are creating, cuz cant nobody put it on me like my Haitian Sensation.
From the present and the past
you always put your family last,
absent with ease in the fondest memories
and present in my paralyzing pain you
The blood stain i can’t get out my veins, my brain can’t stop analyzing why you movin funny like a slave with no chains, can’t control your bitch, yet I’m the one who gets blamed
Who Cuts off their family for a wack bitch with money?
How can you live with yourself?
Why don’t you just kill yourself?
You worth more dead than alive anyway, so is there any way you can speed it up?
You’re a dead beat,
Dead to my heart as my words beat upon your deaf ears, I wanna beat you to death and give you the ass whooping of a life time,
I’m making Ws out of Ls I’m dealt.
And despite all the hurt I’ve felt,
I can never be defeated,
your time is up I’m overheated you need to take several seats for this one so please be seated
You’re toxic, no Brittany, the spears of your lies while looking into my eyes that resemble yours makes me think if hurting your children is on your list of chores,
you treat those that are not yours as if they are,
and yours as if they’re not,
your bazaar behavior creates inquiries of whether you need a straight jacket and a cot
I’d let you rot
In your bad deeds and karma
Drug yourself with your guilt and overdose on big pharma.
What you tellin’ me baby?
What you tellin’ me baby?
I can feel you miles away
I’m here wishing you could stay with me,
Falling every day
In love like Faith, it’s Big, we pray
I digs ya like a grave.
I’d raid a tomb for you to build an empire with my womb for you.
Keep it between you and me,
What you tellin’ me baby?
Drowning in the crashing waves of my own tears my vision is blurred
I can’t see the correlation between your actions and your words,
your satisfaction strangles me like my neck’s trapped in electric cords, my cords scream loud not making a sound
my screams are silent dreams violent and dark as the dark side of the moon
drawn, deep diving, descending into the opposite of heaven but not hell cuz this coming high water got the power to extinguish anguish fires,
I’m twisting shit like pliars
I’m the thunder without the storm cuz i take no form to their con of conform so
I’m cool with being labeled different from the norm, I’m new to this shit but i been born since i rebirthed from the ashes Phoenix complex i perform
I’m praying my dreams don’t defer
Nor my student loans
I prefer to live differently, but this world ain’t feeling me,
Seems like i gotta play tweedledee, but I ain’t tweedledumb, humanity is numb, communicating in 140 characters with your thumbs
Sometimes the load of this world only seems to loan me stress and despair,
Knowing that I have a degree but i can still be discriminated against because of my hair,
Its as if being happy while Black isn’t obtainable,
Or if you want better for your people, by screaming black power- you’re deemed hateful,
Thank God I have a warrior queen for a mother I’m forever grateful.
I sit drowning in my lonesome, wrapping my brain about the system and how we can overcome
Its baffling, maybe i went to school high cus I knew i’d still make less than white guys who only went to high school.
Or l when i get called for an interview they think I’m gonna be a white woman,
Ooh baby what is you doin?
Why you frontin?
You know my code-switching on a hunnid
I speak Spanglish, English, Sarcasm and Ebonics
The vultures hooked on our cultures like Phonics
Taylor swift with an Afro? That bitch really tried it.
I need the Mileys and Katys to stay in their lane please, blackness ain’t a costume for your wannabe black striptease, you ain’t honoring the culture you just exploiting it
And especially to my people of color,
Stop supporting that shit!
I said i’ll be your stress reliever,
Certainly not your punching bag
I told you, you were welcome
Not turn me into your welcome mat
When they came for you, I stood up,
When they came for me, there you sat
Every time I flash back I’m once again backed — against the back roads of life,
Driving among some road only to find myself, trife, on my back, backwards Every time i move forward back firing against my back up plan, no plan b so what’s it gonna be?
I saw the crucifixion coming prior to you crucifying me
I suspect you are speculating the thoughts that hide in the back of my mind.
I constantly perpetuate my anguish through my anxieties as I attempt to remain cool and sustain my composure
Black people are like trees.
We grow toward the sun, our hair like leaves.
Our browns, blacks, and light like the bark on the majestic natural things, branches are erected, making love through the beezniz of creating buds blooming, stretching, farther from their roots.
One can’t get farther without the other.
What is a branch to the roots of a tree?
What are the roots of a tree without branches?
Know thy self.
Eyes opened wide
While I make observations from the other side
Black families were destroyed
So white families can flourish
The Black baby mama dehumanized
While white women have the privilege of motherhood
Police patrol our neighborhoods
While whites gentrify our neighborhoods
But God forbid you’re black walking in their neighborhoods
White children have fathers in their homes
While our fathers are jailed, worked to death, and buried
Justice is for whites only
A white rapist gets no time for his crime
While a black brother gets jail time for a dime of weed
White people are encouraged to breed
While Blacks and Browns are encouraged to abort
Being Black Everything is about your race
While being white is colorblind
Ain’t no such thing as being blind to color
When the world is naturally colorful
Only those who are absent of color are blind to the sand drawn war lines
But we’ll wash them up like the shore til their war lines ain’t there no more.